Before It All
by sovngarded
Summary: After Cicero's arrival at Cheydinhal, a young Dunmer by the name of Lithina joins the Dark Brotherhood under unknown circumstances. As he comes to know her and the other members of his new family, Cicero's journal becomes more in-depth. Life in the Sanctuary is sometimes odd and strained, but what is life without a lover's comfort and constant discord? Pre-Jester!Cicero/F!Assassin.
1. Chapter One

_(**A/N:** Ahh! Hello everyone. I've often wondered what Cicero's life was life pre-Skyrim, and after reading his journals I decided to simply make one up myself. Please enjoy. I love reviews/ follows/ favorites, and feedback makes me smile. Thank you for taking the time to read my ramblings and I hope I can keep continuing this story if it's liked.)_

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Cicero's Journal

Twenty-sixth of Evening Star

Fourth Era, year 186

_It's late and I believe this day has just begun, the first or second hour signaled by the moon at its peak in the dotted, dark sky. We are said to receive a new initiate soon, so quickly after I've joined we seem to be growing in numbers. It is needed, but I wonder if it's so quickly necessary. I have been an assassin for longer than I have not; but I still feel the strain of the family growing too big or perhaps have too many heads controlling the decisions being made here. Rasha, however, seems to know what he is doing as the leader here at Cheydinhal._

_I have filled a few contracts since my first journal entry and, if I may say so myself, I have done them quickly and well. A few flicks of my knife and with silent feet, my victims hardly know they have died before the hit the ground. It is oddly… satisfying and empowering to be able to deliver Sithis's wrath upon a mortal with my own blade._

_The Night Mother gives contracts every day now. The Dark Brotherhood will never rest, even if we may be weakened. I pray to Sithis I will never live to see the day my family falls._

I gently blew on the ink still wet from my quill, fanning the creamy pages with slight annoyance as some thick lines of letters refuse to dry. The paper furled gently, and I closed my leather bound journal, pushing it to the side of my wooden desk with a quick glace towards the door. Gentle footsteps padded down the hallway, and I stood from my chair, pulling my door open to see Rasha's yellow eyes settle on me, his gaze always certain and direct. This was a man who knew what he was doing at all times and never strayed from his point and for that I respected him.

"The new one has arrived to the care of our sanctuary." Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see the Khajiit's gray tail flip slightly at his own words.

"She is… worse for wear." His upper lip pulled up slightly in distaste, revealing thin fangs at the corners of his lip when his whiskers quivered momentarily.

I raised a dark brow, pushing back my hood to allow my loose red hair to fall to my shoulders.

"Already? My Speaker, perhaps she is not worthy of this station."

"She is capable; but young. The reason for her injury is my own foolishness. I instructed her to meet me with no weapons, and she obeyed without question. She made it, however…"

His yellow gaze darted to the side, and I saw the muscles of the bridge of his nose pull up in somewhat of a snarl.

"Nevermind it. I have other things to do; come and meet here whenever you please, Cicero. I will take my leave."

Hastily, I nodded. "Thank you, my Speaker."

Rasha turned on his heel and promptly strode down the dark hallway, into the darkness of the main room. I heard a shuffling, the voice of a concerned Evanet floating down the stone brick of the Sanctuary.

"I don't know why you've made her risk this, Rasha. This was foolish."

A sweet, sad sounding voice piped up after a thick hesitation. "I'm fine, really. It just aches a bit." Her accent was lilting, and I craned my neck to better hear the new one speak.

"Well, naturally. Imp bites don't feel like sunshine."

Instead of backlash, I heard new, musical laughter echo through the halls. "No, no they don't."

And for the first time in my days at Cheydinhal, I heard Rasha laugh and mean it. The sound made my hands shake with nervousness. Something here was wrong.

* * *

Cicero's Journal

Thirtieth of Evening Star

Fourth Era, year 186

_The new assassin arrived to our care near dusk of the twenty-sixth of Evening Star; a Dumner with keenly pooling dark eyes and ebony hair to match. With curved, full lips and an easy laugh, she is not the first image that comes to the mind's eye when you think of an assassin. I am lead to believe that Rasha has taken an interest in her which isn't strictly business-like. I know we are a family in this hall, but he looks at her like a lover. Her name is Lithina Viyas and I hope she does not serve as a distraction to our Speaker. We have takings of life to attend to, and I would not take to it kindly if that was interrupted so quickly after my arrival here at the Hall._

_She hasn't been given a contract yet, but insists she is ready for one. The bites to her thin arms are nasty and still shine with blood under the guise of new pinky but dust grey skin she's grown from healing spells. The Dunmer appears to be quick on her feet and even quicker with a blade. She's perhaps only just seen her twentieth winter._

_I don't expect much from her._

_I let slip my blade yesterday morning and I did it well. A vagrant with a penchant for skooma in trouble with a Redguard tavern owner who had the stomach to perform the Black Sacrament… The client wanted his heart, so I gave it to her. Breaking ribs with my bare hands as he still breathed and screamed is not something I will ever easily forget. I enjoyed it thoroughly._

I didn't remember getting up from my perch and walking down into the main room of Cheydinhal. I also didn't remember why I sat down in a circle with my family, casually passing around bottles of alto wine and mead that had the slight hint of apples to it. Six of us sat there right on the floor, swapping stories into the night, sharing laughter with each other until my sides hurt from chuckling. Life in this place was not bad; in fact I was starting to truly feel like a family here, despite the losses we all shared and the lives we secretly ached for, we were drawn together here in this moment.

Rasha's eyes were only for Lithina, sneaky and quickly looking to her as she laughed and spoke a bit every now and again to give input or to simply make a sarcastic comment that made the rest laugh in turn. After she finished chuckling at Garnag's story about a terrible misunderstanding about a pound of moon sugar in Hammerfell, I quickly glance to the Dunmer just in time to see her casually flip her hair. Her pretty face lifted, and she gave me a small, nervous smile before blinking thick eyelashes. I felt a bit of heat flash to my face, and Rasha's bright eyes were on me in an instant. The Khajiit's smile faded quickly, and I could almost see the sudden shift in his bright eyes that warned me still. Around this unacknowledged glance, the rest of my family still joked and laughed.

The hair on the back of my neck stood, and I uneasily looked away from my Speaker. This would become dangerous very quickly if something wasn't done.

My flow of tumultuous thought was interrupted when Evanet leaned forward to peck Ram-Ju right on green, scaled lips, causing him to laugh with slight alarm as the Breton laughed uproariously, joined by the rest of the brotherhood.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see Rasha seethe again as Lithina took a swallow of mead and blinked at me over the flagon, a smile uncurling across her dusky face. I smiled back, the corner of my lips pulling up almost as a reflex.

This could be interesting if I played my hand right.

* * *

Cicero's Journal

Thirty-first of Evening Star

Fourth Era, year 186

_Distractions worry me._

I read over the hastily scribbled words I'd written in my journal. My hand had been heavy, and the point of my quill had dug heavily into the parchment in places, ripping through the thin layers and down to the next page. With a sigh, I closed the cover sharply and pressed my forehead to the leather, my shoulder slumping.

I was so tired. My eyes were grainy and hot from exhaustion, yet I could not sleep due to the worry echoing inside my head.

Today had been Lithina's first contract. She was back within five hours, with blood across her lips and up to her left elbow. She'd walked into the main hall with a somber expression only to catch my gaze. Her lips quirked into a smile, and I felt my jaw loosen as she pulled back her hood to shake loose her long hair.

And then she licked her lips free of dried, rusty blood unthinkingly. I was _undone_. I felt myself swallow reflexively, and her hand went to her hip. She took measured steps over to me, pulling out the chair to my side before hesitating momentarily.

"Cicero, is this seat taken?"

"No, it's quite free."

She smiled, dark eyes dancing, and pulled the wooden chair out to perch in it, poised and natural as I tried my damnedest not to shake like a leaf next to her. She leaned towards me, her small, pointed chin resting in her left hand.

"Is it true you bit the heart out of a target's chest?"

I laughed at the question, tears quickly building in my eyes at the unexpected words. "Oh, no my dear. I simply cut it out of his ribs."

She seemed slightly momentarily disappointed. "Oh. Why?"

I shrugged. "The client wanted a gruesome death, and she also wanted his heart. I don't ask; I just _do_."

We talked long into the night. I found myself edging towards her and her to me, so close I could feel her breath touching my face. After hours of this torturous game, she finally gave me an easy smile and stood from her chair, excusing herself for the night.

I quickly apologized, and she held her hand out to me.

I took it, standing, and held my arm for her to take. Lithina stared at me for a quick second, and then took it with a huge grin unfolding on her face.

Escorting her down the hallway, she blushed like a girl as I bid her a long winded and good-natured farewell. She thanked me for humoring her and her fingers gently brushed my skin, the heat folding through the fabric of my robe. Upon arriving at her sleeping chambers near the end of the dark hallway, she let my arm go and pulled closer to me as I looked on in surprise.

With warm lips, she pressed a soft kiss to the hard line of my cheek.

"Thank you, Cicero. You are truly a gentleman."

With a dark hand, she tugged the end of my loose red hair playfully and entered her room, shutting the door gently behind her.

The breath ran out of me, the heat draining out of my face as I heard Rasha's telltale footsteps at the other end of the dark hallway.

_I shouldn't be doing this._

Hastily, I pulled my hood around my face and strode back to the table, swiping a bottle of mead before taking off towards my room. This would be a long night.


	2. Chapter Two

I woke with a pounding headache and an empty bottle of mead clasped in my fingers. With a start, I realized my spine was pressed flat to the stone floor, aching badly, my red hair fanned out behind my head like a mock-bloody halo. Grimacing, I sat up as slowly as I could, setting the heavy glass bottle down onto the floor.

I had a contract that needed to be fulfilled today. Something as trivial as a simple hangover would not be allowed to get in the way of the Dread Father's bidding. I rolled my shoulders backwards, cracking my neck. Lifting my arms over my head, they protested with pain before the bone finally popped to settle into place, Sighing, I lifted myself and yawned, shaking myself awake as best as I could manage.

Slipping out of my cloak, I hooked my fingers into the top for my leathers and yanked them down with a hiss. Everything ached.

I changed my clothes into something more suitable to kill in.

With a dark collar clasped to my throat and black leather pants, I supposed I looked well off enough to get close enough to the woman to slip a dagger between her ribs, so this would have to do. I slipped my fingers through my hair, pulling it out of my face and pulled the back of it behind me, leaving the front loose and around my face. After this was done, I strapped twin ebony blades to either leg and a draught of poison into a hidden pocket of my robe.

Ready. Well, nearly.

Hastily, I tore a piece of parchment out of an old journal and scribbled on it.

_Completing baroness contract, will be back in a few hours_

_ -Cicero_

I folded the note, taking a small dagger out of my desk. I slipped out of my room soundlessly, shutting the door behind me close with little more than a quiet rush of air. Turning on my heel, I pressed the note to the door and stuck the dagger through it; a common practice in this Sanctuary when we left without telling another family member. I worked my way to the kitchen with my cloak pulled tightly around me. Sunlight had not yet filtered into the Sanctuary, and the sharp coldness of Cyrodiilian night still hung over the stone walls and floors. From a shelf in the small dining area, I took half of a loaf of bread and some sort of cheese, taking bites from each as I strode down the hall. Walking up the stairs to the main floor of the house, I slunk easily through the darkness and spotted a dark form out of the corner of my eye. Holding my breath, I stared on as my eyes adjusted to the blackness.

"Oh, good morning!"

I jumped at the smooth sound of Lithina's voice behind me, and I giggled, half-crazed, after realizing it was her, my voice raising a couple of octaves due to shock.

Her laugh resonated in my heart.

"My apologies. I should have cleared my throat before speaking. That was damned cruel of me."

I turned to see her standing before me in dark ankle boots, laced leather pants, and a plain, white cloth blouse. Her dark robes draped over thin shoulders, and her hair hung loose to her neck as she smiled expectantly at me. "Cicero?"

I shook my head quickly, snapping myself out of my daze. "You look lovely."

I saw her jaw loosen, and pink crept across her dusky face. "Thank you, I was about to say the same to you… I feel underdressed."

She clasped her hands together as I smiled, and she looked up at me with a playful glint in her dark eyes. "Are you heading out for a contract?"

"Yes, I am."

"May I walk out with you?"

I held my arm out to her like I had the previous night, and she took it easily with a shaking hand. I pretended not to notice.

"Where are you off to this early morning?"

She smiled. "I'm meeting with a potential client. Do I look the part of an assassin?"

"No," I answered honestly. "Much too beautiful, if I may be so bold."

"Cicero, you certainly flatter me."

With a smile, I unlatched the door and gently nudged it open, leading her out into the cool morning air of Cyrodiil. The sun was just beginning to grace the green horizon, and I heard the Dunmer's sharp intake of breath beside me.

"How lovely the sunrise is here."

I was slightly taken aback by her words. "Have you never seen it?"

"Well, I have seen the sun rise above the hot mountains of Morrowind, but they bit the sky too high to be seen clearing over the horizon. This is… significantly lovelier." Her voice was hushed, reverent, and she squeezed my forearm gently. "I'm happy I was able to share this moment with you, Cicero. It has helped to ease my nervousness."

I hadn't realized how far we had walked together. Feeling the warmth of her hand resting on my arm felt natural, but wonderful enough to make my head spin at the feeling- damn these distractions.

We came to a split ion the cobblestone path, and she pulled away from me. I turned to her, and wordlessly she pulled me into a quick hug, planting a small kiss on my cheek once again.

"Thank you, Cicero. Good luck with your contract."

"Likewise, Lithina."

I watched her walk from me, hips swaying deliciously under her cloak. Her hands went to her hair, slipping a familiar looking ribbon under and tying it up with a quick bow. In confusion, I lifted my hand to the back of my neck, feeling my loose hair slip through my hands. I grinned and shook my head, utterly in awe as she patted the back of her hair in place without taking a second glace back to me.

Damn her.

I walked off, to the wide streets of the town. It was early morning, and a few merchants were barely setting their wares up in stalls and shops. The baroness held her residence in a large manor built near a lake. With large windows and a vined balcony to scale, slipping away from the scene would be child's play. He arrived at the house; the left side still shrouded in darkness from the barely rising sun. Vines grew from a trellis on the darker side, and I went to the wood, testing it. Definitely strong enough to hold my weight.

I began to climb it, carefully but quickly scaling the wall to the balcony. I smiled ruefully; supposing in any other circumstances a man climbing up to a woman's balcony to see her would be quite romantic. My thoughts briefly darted to Lithina, and I pushed them out of my head with a heavy hand. Now was not the time.

I grasped onto the edge of the wooden balcony, pulling myself up nimbly and swinging a leg over. Balancing myself on the railing, I saw curtains billowing open from the ajar door that lead directly into a bedroom.

And there she was, perched on a chair in front of a mirror, applying oils to her wet hair with a displease expression. From this angle, I could see her, but she couldn't see me.

Using this to my advantage, I walked soft-footed through the open door and slipped my blade from its holster. I slunk behind her, and she caught sight of me in her mirror. Giving me a smug smile, she turned to face me.

"Hello, darling."

I said nothing, my hand shooting out to grasp her by the neck. Shoving her jaw up, I saw fear dilate her eyes.

I shushed her and slit her throat, her blood spilling warmly over my grasping hand while she gurgled. I could feel the veins pulse erratically under my fingers, and I stepped back shaking my hand when I heard a clatter of metal next to me.

A hand maiden had dropped a heavy platter of fingerfoods. Shrinking backwards, she lifted her skirt to pull a small blade from the top of her leggings.

"Don't you dare," she growled, eyes darkening as she held the knife out in front of her, and I could see the muscles in her neck tense as she began to lunge towards me.

I flicked my blade forward and it buried itself into her stomach. The girl fell soundlessly and I went to her, pulling my knife up and slipping it across her neck for a quicker death. She trembled in my grasp and finally fell limp, just like her baroness.

I cleaned my hands in the bowl of warm water on her vanity and left the way I'd come in.

The sun was casting a glow on the land, and a smile crossed my face as its warmth touched my cheeks. A good day this was turning out to be.

* * *

Cicero's Journal

First of Rain's Hand

Fourth Era, year 187

_Completed the baroness contract. She died well. Her handmaiden, less so._

I undressed quickly, pulling a large bowl of water towards me. With a cloth, I began to scrub my hands and face as clean as I could get them. My hair felt less clean than I would have liked, and one of the downsides to our Sanctuary was that it did not have running water. It was probably time for a dip in the cold lake.

Unclasping my robe, I let it fall onto the footboard of my bed, hearing the gentle clink of the poison bottle inside. I unstrapped my blades and dipped the gored one into the bowl, wiping the blood away with the cloth I'd been using previously. I tucked the twin daggers into their spot in my desk and, with a bit of difficulty, closed the drawer.

There was a tentative knock my bedroom door, and I raised an eyebrow.

"Come in."

The door was pushed open, and Rasha strode in, his whiskers shaking and ears pulled flat back against his dark hair.

"You've completed the contract?"

"Yes."

"And the handmaiden?"

"Dead as well. I had no choice."

"I see."

His yellow eyes flickered around my room, uninterested but trying to keep busy. He didn't want to look at me, let alone be in my bedroom.

"What did you need, my Speaker?"

He stared at me, eyes settling on mine as annoyance flickered across his features.

"You seem close to the new initiate."

Thinking for a moment, I chose my next words carefully. "We are growing closer, but I still don't know her very well." My hesitation was heavy.

"I see."

He turned and left without another word, leaving me standing there, horribly confused.

After a few moments of listening to his footfalls disappear down the hallway, a shiver carved its way up my spine with unforgiving severity.


End file.
